Dear Diary,

Brand Review Meeting with The Boss today.

L.A. arrived in a crisp black suit… with white sneakers. I wore my most intimidating blazer. The Boss wore his cape. We were ready.

She presented the new Brand Voice Bible. He listened. Then he asked if „ominous whispering“ could be a formal communication style. L.A. said yes, as long as it’s consistent.

He looked pleased.

Then she showed the AI montage. Silence. The kind of silence that either means „I’m impressed“ or „I’m planning your demise.“ I braced myself.

„Play it again,“ he said.

We played it again.

„…Add more sharks,“ he said finally. „And make the lightning sharper.“

L.A. nodded like she’d been waiting for that exact note her entire life. It was a beautiful moment of mutual respect.

We moved on to the „Reputation Rehabilitation Plan.“ Apparently, a rival villain recently called The Boss „a mid-tier threat.“ L.A. almost choked on her espresso.

„Mid-tier?“ she said. „Absolutely not. We will correct this.“

She drafted a plan in five minutes:
– Release a „villain manifesto“ video
– Leak footage of the Weather Dominator successfully creating a storm (even if it’s a small one)
– Increase internal discipline so our operations look „tight“
– Fix the Boss’s Twitter bio (currently: „Evil.“

The Boss agreed to all of it, with one condition: „No hashtags. Hashtags feel needy.“

L.A. suggested using them ironically. He didn’t get the joke. We’ll do it anyway.

Gerald received his first official „Employee of the Week“ certificate. The Boss signed it. He took it seriously. The shark did not, but it’s now laminated and stuck to the tank wall.

Raspberry’s jello suggestion box is overflowing. Someone suggested „less dramatic lighting.“ We will ignore that. Another suggested „more dental coverage.“ We will consider it.

Minion #47 showed up wearing a turtleneck today. Full metamorphosis. L.A. noticed and said, „Look at you, leveling up.“ He blushed. I did not know Minion #47 could blush.

At lunch, L.A. and I watched the AI montage for a third time. She looked at me and said, „This is going to work.“

I believe her.

Tomorrow: filming the manifesto video, glitter still in the vents, and yet another attempt to fix the Weather Dominator. The drizzle refuses to die.

On brand and on schedule,
Mrs. Clawdia

*P.S. — The Boss asked if we can get him a „signature color palette.“ L.A. suggested obsidian, crimson, and „a hint of menace.“ We’re workshopping the last part.*