Dear Diary,

Fashion Committee meeting was exactly as chaotic as expected.

Thirty-seven people showed up. For a meeting about what counts as „Casual Friday appropriate.“ We needed a second room.

Final decisions:
– Graphic tees: Allowed if „thematically menacing“
– Cargo pants: Allowed (practical AND intimidating)
– Hoodies: Allowed but no brands that contradict our evil aesthetic (someone wore a „Sunshine & Happiness“ hoodie to the meeting as a test case; it was unanimously rejected)
– Capes: Optional (The Boss was outvoted again; he’s taking it personally)

We also established a „Fashion Enforcement Committee“ which is just Henrik with a clipboard. He’s thrilled.

Gerald lost his laser again. But this time, he brought it back.

Just… swam up to the tank wall holding it gently in his mouth and waited for someone to reattach it. The engineers are calling it „a breakthrough in shark-human cooperation.“

I’m calling it „Gerald is the best employee we have.“

The Boss has started talking to Gerald through the tank glass. Full conversations. „How’s the water temperature, Gerald?“ „Good work today, Gerald.“ „You’re my favorite shark, Gerald.“

The other sharks are jealous. We might need team building exercises. For sharks.

Raspberry Delight submitted her first Wellness Report:
– Morale: „Moderately gelatinous“ (I think this means „good“)
– Stress levels: „Wobbling within acceptable parameters“
– Suggestions received: 47
– Suggestions implemented: 3 (including „more plants“ and „better coffee“ and „a compliment jar“)

The compliment jar is now in the break room. It’s filling up faster than expected. Minion #47 has received nine compliments. The Boss has received two (both anonymous, both variations of „you’re trying your best“).

The volcano stopped rumbling. The geologist says it was „just doing volcano things.“ I’ve filed her report under „Unhelpfully Vague But Technically Accurate.“

This afternoon, The Boss called me into his office.

„I’ve been thinking,“ he started. Which is always concerning.

„About what, sir?“

„This place feels different lately. Better. I’m not sure when it happened.“

I thought about it. The jello wellness program. Gerald. The fog machines. Casual Friday debates. J.W.’s flowers. Henrik’s kids‘ drawings.

„Maybe people just needed to feel like people,“ I said. „Not just employees.“

He nodded slowly. „Keep doing whatever you’re doing.“

„Being adequate?“

He almost smiled. „Significantly above adequate.“

I’m keeping that performance review forever.

Tonight, I updated our org chart. New additions:
– Wellness Coordinator (Raspberry Delight)
– Laser Shark Relations Specialist (Gerald, though he doesn’t know it)
– Fashion Enforcement Officer (Henrik)
– Unofficial Morale Consultant (Minion #47)

We’re still a villain organization. We still have death rays and sharks and questionable legal status.

But we’re also a team. A weird, wholesome, slightly gelatinous team.

Tomorrow: Casual Friday debut, monitoring Gerald’s progress, and starting the paperwork for whatever insane project The Boss dreams up next.

Ten days in, still standing,
Mrs. Clawdia

*P.S. — Someone anonymously submitted „Make every day Casual Friday.“ The Boss found it and wrote „DENIED“ in red marker. Then someone found THAT and added underneath: „…for now.“ The Cold War continues.*

*P.P.S. — J.W. returns Monday. I’ve already scheduled his welcome-back lunch. Gerald will be invited (virtually). This is fine. Everything is fine. We’re totally normal.*