Friday, February 13th, 2026
Dear Diary,
Today was the first Casual Friday.
It went exactly as chaotically as expected. Henrik wore cargo shorts with a tactical vest. Minion #47 wore pajama pants (progress: they were clean). Someone wore a Hawaiian shirt with skulls on it. The Boss watched from his office with visible disapproval.
Then L.A. walked in.
L.A. is our media consultant. Freelance. Early thirties. Showed up wearing a perfectly tailored blazer, ripped jeans, and neon pink sneakers. Somehow made it look both professional and like she just left a rave.
„You must be Mrs. Clawdia,“ she said, extending a hand. „I’ve heard you’re the one who actually runs this place.“
I liked her immediately.
The Boss hired her to „enhance our villainous presence in the global evil community.“ His words, not mine. Apparently, our brand recognition among other supervillains is „concerningly low.“
L.A.’s assessment after a two-hour facility tour:
„Your volcano aesthetic is strong. Your death ray collection is impressive. Your social media presence is *tragic*.“
She pulled up The Boss’s Twitter account. Last post: three months ago. A blurry photo of Mr. Whiskers with the caption „Evil.“
„That’s it?“ she asked. „That’s your entire digital strategy?“
The Boss looked offended. „Evil doesn’t need marketing.“
„Evil absolutely needs marketing,“ L.A. countered. „How else will people fear you properly?“
I had to leave the room before I laughed.
By lunch, L.A. had already:
– Redesigned our logo (it’s actually good?)
– Started filming „behind the scenes“ content
– Convinced three henchmen to be „brand ambassadors“
– Declared war on our „outdated workflow systems“
Henrik loves her. Minion #47 is terrified of her. The sentient jello is… intrigued? Raspberry wobbled over during her presentation and formed an enthusiastic heart shape.
Gerald got his laser reattached. Again. This time it stayed on for SEVEN HOURS. The engineers are calling it a „major breakthrough.“ L.A. filmed it for content. Gerald is now TikTok famous. (Well, famous among people who follow laser shark accounts.)
At 3 PM, L.A. found me in my office. She was wearing the blazer over a vintage band t-shirt now. Still the pink sneakers.
„You and I are going to get along,“ she said, dropping into the chair across from me.
„Oh?“
„You’re the only person here who understands that competence and chaos can coexist. Also, your filing system is beautiful. I respect that.“
We spent an hour talking about everything and nothing. Her background in video production. Her early adoption of AI tools. Her frustration with people who refuse to evolve.
„The Boss is brilliant,“ she said. „But he plans like he’s still in 1987. You can’t threaten world leaders via fax anymore.“
„We stopped the fax threats last month,“ I assured her.
„Progress.“
She’s only here for the week, but already I can tell this place is going to be different. Better? Weirder? Both, probably.
Tonight, she cornered The Boss about his „brand vision.“ He tried to escape. She followed him. I heard phrases like „multimedia strategy“ and „intimidation through consistent messaging.“
Mr. Whiskers watched the whole thing. I swear he looked amused.
Tomorrow: apparently we’re doing a „content creation workshop.“ L.A.’s orders. The Boss agreed because he thinks it’s about propaganda. It’s definitely about propaganda. Just… modern propaganda.
I’m excited. And slightly terrified. Mostly excited.
Cautiously optimistic,
Mrs. Clawdia
*P.S. — L.A. brought artisanal coffee. The break room hasn’t been this energized in weeks. She’s already winning hearts.*