Dear Diary,

The volcano is definitely rumbling more than usual.

The geologist we hired (yes, we have a geologist on retainer) came by today. Her assessment: „It’s a volcano. Sometimes they rumble. Probably fine.“

„Probably?“ I asked.

„Probably,“ she confirmed.

I’ve updated the evacuation plan. Again.

Gerald the laser shark successfully kept his laser attached for four hours today. Then he got bored and rubbed it off on a rock. But still: four hours is our new record.

The engineers are celebrating like they cured a disease. I let them have this. Small victories matter.

Raspberry Delight held her first „Wellness Wednesday“ event. Activities included:
– Wobble meditation (still weird, still popular)
– Healthy snack distribution (jello cups, ironically)
– A „Compliment Circle“ that got awkwardly sincere very quickly

Minion #47 told Henrik he „brings good energy to the team.“ Henrik cried. Then everyone else started crying. It was supposed to be a 15-minute activity. It lasted an hour.

I’m adding tissues to next month’s supply order.

The Boss attended. Quietly. In the back. When it was his turn to give a compliment, he said, „You’re all… adequate.“

Then he left.

Henrik translated: „That means he likes us.“

Probably accurate.

Casual Friday prep is causing unexpected drama. Someone asked if „evil-adjacent“ includes graphic tees with skulls. Someone else asked if cargo pants are „intimidating enough.“ The debate has splintered the organization.

I’ve scheduled a fashion committee meeting. This is my life now.

At lunch, I overheard three henchmen discussing baby names. Apparently, multiple people are expecting kids this year. Henrik’s sister. Minion #23’s wife. Someone in accounting.

„It’s the water,“ one of them joked.

„It’s the benefits,“ another said seriously. „Clawdia actually gave us parental leave.“

I pretended not to hear, but that might be the nicest thing anyone’s said about my work here.

This afternoon, J.W. sent me a direct message: „Thanks for everything. Really. See you Monday.“

I replied: „Take your time. We’ve got Gerald.“

He sent back a laughing emoji and a shark emoji. I consider this professional communication.

Mr. Whiskers and Raspberry Delight have reached a truce. The cat knocked the suggestion box over. The jello reformed it higher. The cat walked away with dignity.

Everyone won.

The Weather Dominator achieved „ominous thunderstorm“ status over Reykjavik. Only lasted forty minutes before reverting to drizzle, but the Boss is calling it „proof of concept.“

I’m calling it „less broken than before.“

Tonight, someone left homemade brownies in the break room with a note: „Thanks for making this place not suck. -Anonymous“

They were gone in seventeen minutes.

Tomorrow: Fashion Committee meeting, Gerald’s progress check, and figuring out if the volcano is actually fine or just „probably“ fine.

Cautiously optimistic,
Mrs. Clawdia

P.S. — Someone added „Team Therapy“ to the suggestions. I’m… not saying no.