Dear Diary,

The mystery of the 400kg dry ice has been solved.

Turns out, it was part of an „atmospheric drama enhancement“ project that The Boss approved three weeks ago and immediately forgot about. The goal: make our facility „more intimidating“ with artificial fog effects.

The problem: we already have natural fog from the broken Weather Dominator.

We now have SO MUCH FOG that Security can’t do their rounds without thermal imaging equipment. Henrik walked into a wall twice this morning.

I’ve temporarily halted the fog project. The Boss called it „surrendering to mediocrity.“ I called it „basic workplace safety.“ We’re at an impasse.

Minion #47 asked if he could have some of the dry ice for a „science project.“ I said yes because honestly, we have 395kg left and no plan for it. He left carrying a cooler and looking very pleased with himself.

Mr. Whiskers has claimed the warmest spot in the facility: directly on top of the server room’s cooling vent. IT is furious. The cat is unmovable. I’ve declared it a „feline resources allocation issue“ and delegated it to Henrik.

Henrik tried negotiating with the cat. The cat won.

The sentient jello submitted a formal proposal to become our „wellness coordinators.“ The document includes:
– Bi-weekly morale assessments
– Stress-reduction wobbling sessions
– A suggestion box (made of jello, naturally)

I’m genuinely considering it. Our current wellness program is „don’t die in the shark tank.“

Also, Raspberry Delight has been hanging around the staff areas more lately. Just… observing. Wobbling thoughtfully. I asked what she was doing. She formed a heart shape and bounced away.

I think the jello is developing empathy. Our science team is both fascinated and concerned.

J.W.’s desk has been empty for three days now. Someone put a little „Miss you buddy“ note on his monitor. Someone else added a drawing of a stick figure. There’s now a small collection of supportive messages.

This organization is weird. But in a good way, I think.

The Weather Dominator finally got fixed. Partially. It now produces „concerning clouds“ over predictable locations. The Boss called it „progress.“ I called it „still broken.“ We’re both right.

Tonight’s excitement: a false alarm in the laser room. Turns out, someone’s phone fell off a desk and the impact triggered a proximity sensor. We evacuated three sectors for a dropped iPhone.

I’m updating the emergency protocols. Again.

Tomorrow: staff meeting about „reasonable fog levels,“ addressing the jello wellness proposal, and finally dealing with whatever is happening in Sector 7.

Foggy but optimistic,
Mrs. Clawdia

*P.S. — Found out what Sector 7 smells like: someone’s forgotten lunch. From January. It’s now a biohazard. We’re just going to seal that section.*