They solved it.<\/p>\n
I’m not entirely sure *what* they solved\u2014something about ionized particle streams and ablative shielding\u2014but both scientists are absolutely euphoric. They emerged from the lab at noon, disheveled and triumphant, announcing they’d „cracked the atmospheric resistance problem.“<\/p>\n
The Boss immediately ordered champagne. Real champagne, not the cheap stuff we serve at minion birthday parties. We gathered in the control room for an impromptu celebration.<\/p>\n
Dr. Henman gave a toast about „the future of orbital weaponry“ that was equal parts inspiring and deeply concerning. The Boss got misty-eyed. Several minions applauded (whether from genuine enthusiasm or self-preservation, I couldn’t say).<\/p>\n
Even Gerald got a special feeding\u2014raw steak instead of the usual mystery meat. The shark seemed confused but appreciative.<\/p>\n
They’re already planning Phase 2. Dr. Henman spread new blueprints across my desk (without asking, I might add) showing something called a „targeting acquisition array.“ The scale is… ambitious.<\/p>\n
Tomorrow they’ll realize what this is going to cost. But tonight, let them have their victory.<\/p>\n
*- Mrs. Clawdia, requisitioning more champagne*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
They solved it. I’m not entirely sure *what* they solved\u2014something about ionized particle streams and ablative shielding\u2014but both scientists are absolutely euphoric. They emerged from the lab at noon, disheveled and triumphant, announcing they’d „cracked the atmospheric resistance problem.“ The Boss immediately ordered champagne. Real champagne, not the cheap stuff we serve at minion birthday […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":100,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions\/100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}