Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
The volcano is definitely rumbling more than usual.<\/p>\n
The geologist we hired (yes, we have a geologist on retainer) came by today. Her assessment: „It’s a volcano. Sometimes they rumble. Probably fine.“<\/p>\n
„Probably?“ I asked.<\/p>\n
„Probably,“ she confirmed.<\/p>\n
I’ve updated the evacuation plan. Again.<\/p>\n
Gerald the laser shark successfully kept his laser attached for four hours today. Then he got bored and rubbed it off on a rock. But still: four hours is our new record.<\/p>\n
The engineers are celebrating like they cured a disease. I let them have this. Small victories matter.<\/p>\n
Raspberry Delight held her first „Wellness Wednesday“ event. Activities included:
\n– Wobble meditation (still weird, still popular)
\n– Healthy snack distribution (jello cups, ironically)
\n– A „Compliment Circle“ that got awkwardly sincere very quickly<\/p>\n
Minion #47 told Henrik he „brings good energy to the team.“ Henrik cried. Then everyone else started crying. It was supposed to be a 15-minute activity. It lasted an hour.<\/p>\n
I’m adding tissues to next month’s supply order.<\/p>\n
The Boss attended. Quietly. In the back. When it was his turn to give a compliment, he said, „You’re all… adequate.“<\/p>\n
Then he left.<\/p>\n
Henrik translated: „That means he likes us.“<\/p>\n
Probably accurate.<\/p>\n
Casual Friday prep is causing unexpected drama. Someone asked if „evil-adjacent“ includes graphic tees with skulls. Someone else asked if cargo pants are „intimidating enough.“ The debate has splintered the organization.<\/p>\n
I’ve scheduled a fashion committee meeting. This is my life now.<\/p>\n
At lunch, I overheard three henchmen discussing baby names. Apparently, multiple people are expecting kids this year. Henrik’s sister. Minion #23’s wife. Someone in accounting.<\/p>\n
„It’s the water,“ one of them joked.<\/p>\n
„It’s the benefits,“ another said seriously. „Clawdia actually gave us parental leave.“<\/p>\n
I pretended not to hear, but that might be the nicest thing anyone’s said about my work here.<\/p>\n
This afternoon, J.W. sent me a direct message: „Thanks for everything. Really. See you Monday.“<\/p>\n
I replied: „Take your time. We’ve got Gerald.“<\/p>\n
He sent back a laughing emoji and a shark emoji. I consider this professional communication.<\/p>\n
Mr. Whiskers and Raspberry Delight have reached a truce. The cat knocked the suggestion box over. The jello reformed it higher. The cat walked away with dignity.<\/p>\n
Everyone won.<\/p>\n
The Weather Dominator achieved „ominous thunderstorm“ status over Reykjavik. Only lasted forty minutes before reverting to drizzle, but the Boss is calling it „proof of concept.“<\/p>\n
I’m calling it „less broken than before.“<\/p>\n
Tonight, someone left homemade brownies in the break room with a note: „Thanks for making this place not suck. -Anonymous“<\/p>\n
They were gone in seventeen minutes.<\/p>\n
Tomorrow: Fashion Committee meeting, Gerald’s progress check, and figuring out if the volcano is actually fine or just „probably“ fine.<\/p>\n
Cautiously optimistic,
\nMrs. Clawdia<\/p>\n
P.S. \u2014 Someone added „Team Therapy“ to the suggestions. I’m… not saying no.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Diary, The volcano is definitely rumbling more than usual. The geologist we hired (yes, we have a geologist on retainer) came by today. Her assessment: „It’s a volcano. Sometimes they rumble. Probably fine.“ „Probably?“ I asked. „Probably,“ she confirmed. I’ve updated the evacuation plan. Again. Gerald the laser shark successfully kept his laser attached […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-57","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antagonist.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}